Mother-daughter Traditions: Starting a New, Mother-daughter Tradition

War was raging and most of the older men and eligible young men had left to fight the war. Thus, decision-making in the community was left to the women. 

March winds raced across the sky, dissipating the billowing smoke from the fireplaces in the community. Icicles hung from the eaves' trough of the community center, where a group of older women had gathered.

Ramona's mother was about to make a decision about the marriage of her daughter.

"It is a mother-daughter tradition," Ramona's grandmother had explained. "My mother decided who I would marry, and I decided who your mother would marry. Now, it is up to her to make the decision about who you will marry."

"But, that should be my decision, not hers!" Ramona had argued. "We do not live in the dark ages."

If she married the young man with whom she had fallen in love, she would have to leave the community immediately, never to return. If she walked away from her young man, and stayed in the community, she could grow to hate the matriarchal community that held her in bondage.

Her mother knew Ramona was in love with this young man, and with any decision she made, she could lose her daughter forever. Community unity was also important in their war-torn world, as it was basic to their survival. Her decision could result in ostracism for them.

"When this young man came into our community," Ramona's mother began, carefully. "He was fighting on our side, and he had lost his home and entire family, as well as suffered a serious, war injury. My mother and I welcomed him into our home, and my daughter, Ramona, has nursed him back to health."

She paused. "It is my decision that they can marry and continue to live with us."

One woman immediately got up and walked out. The community had not been that kind to her. Several others shook their heads in dismay.

"We have to have compassion. Continuing to have children and raise families is vital. My decision is final."

Amazingly, her argument in favor of compassion won.

No one, including Ramona, felt the coldness of the night after that, only the welcoming warmth of the kind and loving matriarchal community.

"We are starting a new mother-daughter tradition," she whispered to Ramona. “It will be up to you to continue it.”